Nightmares of Shinobi
by MadCow64
Summary: Kami and the Shinigami are bored and decide to have some fun by messing with the dreams of the Shinobi in the Elemental Nation. SEVERAL CROSSOVERS!
1. Chapter 1

**Sasuke's Nightmare**

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.

Boring. Dull. This was what Kami was describing her day as. Just the regular work to do and nothing fun was happening in the world. While she hated wars and fights, she DID want some action to happen around here.

"Yo!" yelled out a figure from behind her. She turned around in surprise only to see her brother, the Shinigami sitting in her sofa eating a sandwich. Wasn't that the one she just made?

"What are you doing here?" she said while desperately trying to get her sandwich back. Eventually she relented and sat beside him, but not before giving him a death glare.

"I'm bored. BUUUUT! We could have some fun." Shinigami began.

"... Go on."

"How about you use your powers on earth for something fun. Like death! WAR! BLOOD!"

"How about no!" Kami replied, deeming this plan bloody and pointless. Shinigami just sat back down with a raincloud above his head. Then Kami thought of a brilliant plan.

"However," she began, getting her brother's attention, "We could influence the shinobi's dreams and show them their worst nightmare."

"I like where you are going with this one sister. Who first?"

"Hmmmmmm…. How about that arrogant prick Sasuke Uchiha who betrayed Konoha and then betrayed Orochimaru?"

"LET"S DO IT!"

* * *

"OHHHHHH MY GOD SASUKE!" squealed an ecstatic Karin who had witnessed Sasuke defeat Deidara with ease. However there seemed to be something odd with how easy it was, but neither thought about it much, putting it off to being Sasuke's skills.

"Let's go before it gets dark, I want to sleep in a bed this time around." said the third member Suigetsu.

"Yes. Sleep." said Jugo in a monotone voice who was just too tired to stay awake. The others, except Sasuke sweatdropped at him.

Sasuke just looked down at the ground and clenched his fists. _'I still couldn't find out anything of where Itachi is. Damnit.'_

"Fine, let's go." said Sasuke before Team Taka followed behind him.

* * *

' _I will find you Itachi, and when I do, you shall suffer ten-fold what I did.'_ Eventually Sasuke fell asleep, snoring loudly, something he couldn't stop over the years. He thought it was very unUchiha-like.

A flash of light entered the room and if you were very quite you could hear a faint voice repeating Uchiha Sasuke, before the light disappeared, but not before taking Sasuke's soul into a dream world of Kami.

* * *

Sasuke woke up to a pile of blood. He looked around frantically before his eyes saw the dead and mutilated bodies of his teammates. While he did not care for them much, the way they were killed made him feel remorse for them. His eyes then landed on the note sticking just out of where Karin's head should have been.

Steeling his will, he picked up the note and read it's content.

 _Dear pathetic little brother,_

 _I decided to make waste of your little group. I didn't think you would need them anyways. Friends just get in the way. Back on track, if you wish for revenge then come to the former Uchiha hideout I had shown you when you were little at midnight._

 _From your all-powerful brother._

 _P.S. I beat Deidara much faster than you had. Truly pathetic._

Sasuke clenched his fists. How dare he insult him again? He would show Itachi his power!

* * *

Though he would never admit it, spending the day without Team Taka was dull. But despite that, he went through the forest all the while thinking that today he would finally get revenge. He entered the Uchiha hideout.

Looking left and right, he saw nobody. Thinking his brother chickened out, he turned to leave before he heard a voice whispering his name. It was a genjutsu, courtesy of Itachi. Following it's directions, he arrived at a small door. _Wasn't this the bedroom?_

Despite his questions he entered the room. What he saw inside shocked him for the rest of his life. Not even the massacre was as bad as the scene before him.

Itachi was on a bed, laying there, completely rid of any clothes, looking back at him with a rose in his mouth. If that was not as bad, Orochimaru laid on the other side, ALSO rid of any clothing AND a rose in his mouth!

"Sasuke baby! How about you give me your body one last time?" said Orochimaru and Itachi then added, "Yes brother darling! Come join us!"

Sasuke turned and ran. His eyes started changing into the Mangekyou, the trauma being so terrifying that it unlocked his most wanted eyes. But he hardly cared less now. Infact, he hardly cared about revenge! If the dead Uchiha wanted justice, they could come here and kill Itachi in the bed. Naruto was right! Revenge is not the way to go.

* * *

Sasuke woke up for real this time screaming. All he remembered was the dream. Which is why he ran away so fast he didn't even see his teammates walk in the front door. He decided to start a new leaf. Rejoin Konoha if possible, no strike that, JOIN Konoha no matter what. He would fall on his knees and beg for forgiveness if needed. HE WAS NOT GOING TO GET REVENGE ON ITACHI! EVER!

* * *

Meanwhile, the Shinigami and Kami were laughing at the poor soul they scarred for life. This game was far from over, Sasuke was only the beginning. Shinigami still hadn't finished Kami's sandwich.

* * *

 **A Mad Cow Story**


	2. Chapter 2

**Tobi's Nightmare**

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.

* * *

"That was not bad if I do say so myself, even if you have changed the course of history. But I'm sure you can do better. Perhaps send someone to a different world?" said the Shinigami who had been laughing alongside Kami at Sasuke's nightmare.

"Oh indeed! Hmmmm… how about we torment another Uchiha? Obito Uchiha… perfect. He is my next target."

* * *

"Tobi's a good boy!" exclaimed a hyper-active Akatsuki member known to world as Tobi, but his actual name was Obito Uchiha.

"Shut it! You goddamn migraine!" yelled a less excited blond partner of Tobi.

"Migraine? What is a migraine?" Tobi asked, looking utterly confused.

"Arrgh! Never mind, let's just hand over this tailed beast to boss so I can go away and get some peace of mind. AWAY FROM YOU!"

"Alright... " Tobi replied while a raincloud revealed itself from above it's head.

Deidara sighed. Tobi was the only one in the entire Akatsuki that appreciated his art, yet his personality was so, so, so annoying! He shook himself out of his thoughts, it wasn't like Tobi would remember this anyways.

* * *

"Well done for capturing the Three Tails. We shall begin extraction the absorption of the Three Tails into the Gedo Mazo tomorrow. After that, I shall send you out to capture another tailed beast, perhaps even the Nine Tails Jinchuuriki," Pein said as he subdued the beast with the powers of the Rinnegan controlling it to put Three Tails into a comatose state. After this he left the room leaving only Deidara and Tobi.

"Deida-" Tobi began before Deidara left as well, making a quick exit so as to get away from Tobi.

"Stupid intangibility… I would love to show him art shoved up his ass and then blow him to pieces. Regardless of how much he likes my art!"

"Well, guess it's time for good boy Tobi to go to bed! Mama always said sleep at nine! Nighty night Akatsuki!" yelled out Tobi.

"SHUT UP AND GO TO BED YOU LITTLE PRICK BEFORE I" began Hidan as he ended his speech swearing so hard Itachi blushed.

Was that redness I saw you blus-" Kisame began before Itachi switched to his Mangekyou and pulled out a kunai.

"Do NOT speak of this to anybody." said a prideful Itachi. He was an Uchiha! Blushing was not meant for the superior race…. the race he made go extinct, but nevertheless, he had a reputation to uphold. He could not let some sharkfish waste it. Kisame wisely chose to remain silent.

Meanwhile, Tobi merely sweatdropped at Akatsuki's behaviour, before skipping down the cave to his bedroom, or in this sense, cave room. He chuckled before laying down on his bed. When he took off his mask, you could see a smile grace his face. Uchiha Obito loved playing Tobi. Pissing of Akatsuki was the best fun he had since his genin days, days that he put to his past. Of course, that did not mean he gave up his pranking life. He had set a practical prank for everyone that would go off soon.

Obito would have been thinking of more pranking had he not fallen asleep. He never had dreams ever since his "untimely death", nor had he ever had a nightmare as well. But tonight was different. A glow could be seen coming into his cave room, something strange because he had no windows. As fast as the glow came, it disappeared, but not before taking Obito's very soul.

* * *

"Hey mister! Wake up mister!" yelled out a boy with a mouse on his shoulder. Was that a mouse summons?

Obito glared at him , making him and his friends flinch before saying, "What the hell kid, what do want? And why…"

Obito looked around before realising he was not in his cave! He looked furiously at the kids thinking it was their fault. The mouse on the kid's shoulder looked right back at him, lightning flaring at his cheeks. Wait, lightning? But before he could ask, the kid spoke up.

"Hey mister! What kind of cloak is that, where did you buy it?"

"Do you not know who I am?"

"Eh.. no. You didn't tell us." The kid to the mouse kid's right spoke. He looked a little older and was more darker skinned them him as well.

"FOOLS!" began Obito as thunder seemed to come out of nowhere. "I am the great Madara Uchiha (he briefly realised he was supposed to be aliasing as Tobi… too late now), bow before my power!"

The kids just stared at him like he was psycho. Obito now furious decided to show them his power by making the hand seals for the Great Fireball technique. He blasted it towards the surprised kids.

The mouse jumped off the kid's shoulder and began concentrating lightning. It then let a blast of lightning out of it's tail which matched the power of his fireball. The mouse was awesome! He NEEDED to have it. So while the kids were dazed, he reached into the mouse kid's pocket in order to find the summoning scroll.

"Hey! What are you doing. Let go of me! Thief" yelled out the mouse kid before the other two helped him get away from the mad man.

"You alright Ash?"

"Yea Brock. Thanks, and you as well Misty."

The now three named kids looked back the stranger who had the mouse in his hands bound so that it could not escape.

"Let go of my Pokemon you thief!"

Obito looked confused. Pokemon? Is that the name of this summons?

"Give me the summoning scroll for this… pokemon and I will."

The kid named Ash looked confusedly at Brock and Misty.

"Hey Ash, maybe he means the pikachu's pokeball."

Reluctantly, Ash reached into his pocket and threw the stranger the pokeball. Obito was now more confused than he ever was before. What was he supposed to do with this?

"Don't play games with me! Give me the summoning scroll for this creature now!"

"What do you mean? This is what summons Pikachu!"

"I warned you! Now this creature shall suffer!" Obito exclaimed while getting out a kunai.

Meanwhile, behind a bush, three stalkers were looking at the scene.

"Hey, that man is taking our Pikachu!" yelled out a creature.

"Well we should do something about it!" said the man.

"Well, what are we waiting for!" exclaimed the woman in the group.

Before Obito could even thrust his kunai at Pikachu, he was suddenly attacked by three people from the bush. _'What the hell! I couldn't even sense them. Even civilians have chakra systems, but these three don't have one at all!'_ thought Obito, who still had Pikachu in his hands.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Team Rocket!" yelled out Brock!

"You're not taking Pikachu this time!" Ash said angrily.

"Of course not silly, that man already has Pikachu!" said the woman.

' _So this is a Pikachu? Does that mean it belongs to the species of Pokemon?'_

"Team… Rocket?" was the only thing that came to Obito's mind. He instantly regretted it because Team Rocket began to pose in such a way it would put both Lee and Guy to shame. Hell, even his sensei Madara Uchiha (aka Super Gramps) would have had a heart attack.

* * *

"Achoo!" sneezed a man in the afterlife. ' _Damnit, stop thinking of me people, regardless of how awesome I am'_

* * *

Two identical shinobi were training hard at night determined to get stronger until both sneezed.

"YOSH! GAI-SENSEI IT SEEMS SOMEBODY IS REMEMBERING OUR YOUTH. FOR THIS I SHALL DOUBLE MY MIDNIGHT TRAINING!"

"INDEED MY YOUTH FULL STUDENT! WE SHALL RUN AROUND KONOHA A HUNDRED TIMES BLINDFOLDED WHILE STANDING ON OUR HANDS!"

Suddenly another man popped his head out of his window and yelled out,"SHUT UP YOU ANNOYING SHINOBI! IT'S PAST 12!" Couldn't they go to some training field, his backyard was not a place to train. ' _Wait, how the hell did they get into my backyard?'_

Gai and Lee looked at him before saying that their training fields were closed and that they thought this was a training field due to it's immense size.

"YOSH! FOR THIS MY YOUTH FULL STUDENT AND I SHALL RUN 200 LAPS AROUND KONOHA INSTEAD OF A 100"

The man just stared at them blankly pulling his head out of the window and going back to bed. ' _Shinobi, how troublesome.'_

* * *

Shikaku and Shikamaru both sneezed at the exact same moment in the Nara household before being told to shut the hell up by Shikamaru's mother.

' _Troublesome.'_

* * *

"Prepare for trouble!"

"Make it double!"

"To protect the world from devastation!"

"To unite all peoples within our nation!"

"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"

"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"Jessie!"

"James!"

"Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"

"Meowth! That's right!"

Obito's eye was active which meant he got to remember every. Single. Detail. Not even Gai and Lee's Sunset of Youth was this bad. And where did all the dramatic lighting come from? What did their little speech even mean? It was awful! He almost puked, but he didn't. He was an Uchiha, he had a reputation to uphold.

"Why don't you all leave before I decide to kill you all. Forget about this Pikachu and leave." replied Obito murderously.

All of them backed up a couple steps from the angry shinobi before Meowth pressed a button on his remote which made the forest area rumble in shock. A huge machine came running out nearly giving Obito yet another heart attack.

 _'What type of summons are those? I didn't even see the creature make hand signs for anything.'_

Poor Obito had yet to realise that this was not his world. The Pikachu wiggled in his arms before nudging his red cheek on Obito's body. It sent out an electrifying shock that disabled the machine before it could do anything and shocked Obito's chakra system making him fall to the ground. The disabled machine popped back to life only for it to blast into Team Rocket who went blasting off again.

Obito growled before Pikachu chomped on his private area. For a couple seconds there was dead silence before Obito screamed so loud the Gym leader in the city ahead heard him.

"AHHHHHHHHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Pikachu then decided to zap him once more leaving him on the ground looking like he got a seizure.

"Hey guys look it's Officer Jenny!" yelled out Brock.

They proceeded to tell Jenny everything before she got out her Growlite and tied up Obito.

' _Ha! Like this could hold somebody like me!'_ thought Obito before realising the Pikachu had zapped his chakra system leaving him without chakra for quite some time. He glared furiously at it before he was dragged away by the Growlite to prison in Eterna City.

"You are staying here for a month or so. Enjoy your stay. Not many do." said Officer Jenny before she left.

Obito's eye twitched. He, an Uchiha, had been put in prison by a commoner. That had a major blow on his pride.

"Hey there cutie!" Obito froze in shock. That WAS NOT a female voice.

Slowly he turned his head, too afraid to look at what's behind him. When he did, he got the shock of his life. He had a roommate. A roommate that decided to not WEAR any clothes and was looking at him seductively. Obito ran up to bars smashing them.

"LEMME OUT PLEASE. LEMME OUT! NO STAY AWAY! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Obito's screams were heard throughout Eterna City, yet were fallen deaf on the ears of Officer Jenny. Meanwhile in heaven, two gods were having fun on the torment of Obito Uchiha.

* * *

 **A Mad Cow Story**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

"That was even better!" yelled out an ecstatic Shinigami, who had finally finished Kami's sandwich, much to her dismay.

"But I can make it even better!"

"How so?"

"How about combining two dreams into one?"

"...Sis, you are simply evil!"

* * *

Orochimaru has a proud and vain character, and with good reason. He had become a renowned S class criminal and had escaped death not once but twice with the help of his experiments. The first time when he almost died from his own sensei he had been furious as he had been robbed of his jutsus just because his old sensei could not kill him. The second time had been from his own student. However, thanks to the power of his curse marks, he was able to escape death once again.

He had vowed revenge on the Uchiha in the best way possible, by stealing his body. Now if he could only kill that Uzumaki brat, his life would become great. Stupid brat kept saying he was a pedophile. HE WAS NOT A PEDOPHILE. He only liked little kid's bodies because they are the easiest to take over.

However, he still had to heal before he could do anything. Thankfully, Kabuto had given him medicine that would boost his recovery time. He simply loved Kabuto! Erm, not in that sense. So with those pedophilic thoughts in mind, he went to sleep.

A flash of light appeared as soon as Orochimaru entered his dream and it took his very soul into another world.

* * *

Orochimaru woke up with a bang! He looked around and immediately realised he wasn't in his base. Getting up, he saw an enormous stadium filled with millions of people. When he got up, he noticed he was wearing a uniform that said Carolina Panthers. What the hell are they?

He immediately got pulled by some really, really dark skinned person. For the love of kami, he could have bet that even the Raikage wasn't that dark. He was also peeved about being pulled, if he wasn't weakened, he would have teached that idiot a lesson.

"Orochimaru, come on, the coach is telling us the game plan, we HAVE to win the super bowl." exclaimed the guy pulling Orochimaru.

 _Super bowl? Game Plan? What the hell. Sasuke I swear if this is you Tsukuyomi I am going to torture your perfect body before taking it for myself. After healing it of course._

"Listen up Panthers! This is the big game! The Broncos hold nothing against us! WE WILL WIN!" yelled out the coach. He also started talking strategy but Orochimaru zoned him out thinking what the hell was going the hell did these guys even know his name?

Before he could even think of possibilities, he was suddenly grabbed by those dark skinned humans and pulled into the field. All around them the crowd went wild as the other team entered as well.

When the person blew the whistle, the humans began to move, pushing everyone around them. Orochimaru heard someone yelling his name, he turned around and found the leader of this… team he was on yelling at him to move forward. Deciding to humour these pathetically slow humans in this game, he started to move forward. He may still be healing but his speed was much faster than these humans.

"OROCHIMARU!" yelled out a human from his team.

Surprised, Orochimaru turned around to see a flying object hit him dead centre in the forehead, making him fall down dazed. Cursing he gets up, only to see EVERY SINGLE HUMAN come after him with such furiosity it would make the nine tails look like a puppy. He ran as hard as his injured legs could take him, it didn't occur to him once that maybe they just wanted the ball.

However, despite him being a Sannin, he was still injured and he had been told to rest by Kabuto, something he clearly wasn't doing. His legs suddenly lost all muscular power causing him to fall. Cursing once again, he turned around only to see all the humans pile up on him one by one. Sweet Kami, he must have broken every single bone in his body.

 _*CRUNCH*_

"My back!"

*SNAP*

"My FEMUR! "

*SNAP*

"MY OTHER FEMUR!"

* * *

After Orochimaru had went to sleep, Kabuto decided it was time to go to bed as well. He had spent a long day experimenting with _willing_ test subjects on increasing their kekei genkai's abilities to the maximum.

Going to bed, Kabuto never saw a brilliant white light emit from Orochimaru's bed room. Nor did he notice the very light enter his room minutes after, taking him as well.

* * *

Waking up, he noticed he was in a rather large stadium, filled with millions of people. He wondered if it was a Jonin or Chunin exams. However, he noticed quickly that it was just a strange game.

He also noticed a rather pale person with long black hair being taken by paramedics to a hospital.

" LORD OROCHIMARU" exclaimed Kabuto before teleporting to the playing field. Immediately, strange men with blue uniforms appeared. He noticed that the uniforms said Police. He snorted, what kind of police could take him?

"Put your hands up or we will shoot. This is a violation of American Football rules!" _*Translation: This is 'Murica, we will not hesitate to shoot you ten times over if you even lift your hands.*_

Kabuto looked on in wonderment at the mysterious devices held in the hands of the police. He wondered what their abilities were. Deciding to find out himself, he slowly reached into his pocket to grab a kunai, scare the police, grab their device, grab his sensei and leave.

"He's reaching for a gun!"

"Shoot!"

" _Gun?"_ wondered Kabuto, before he was shot in the very arm he was reaching for the kunai with. He hadn't been fast enough to dodge that, something that surprised him. Suddenly, everyone started yelling and leaving the stadium en mass. Kabuto turned around wondering why they would leave when the police were there to protect them. That was the second mistake he did.

Another police man thought he was calling for some secret weapon or activating a bomb and decided to shoot him in the head and finish him off. However, he never was really good at aiming, and his aim went off. Way, way off. Twice.

Kabuto then felt pain like he never felt before. He screamed so loudly that it sounded almost girlish. He had been hit in the butt, twice, one for each buttocks.

* * *

The police had quickly surrounded him and proceeded to take him into jail. When he arrived in jail he was pushed in, while being told that his operation to remove the bullets would be in an hour. The jail guards closed the solid door shut, which had no bars and only a single light bulb kept the room from utter darkness. When he had been pushed in, Kabuto noticed there were two other men in the same jail room as him. Perhaps he could coax them into helping him escape. However, his glasses had fell down on the ground and so he bent down to pick them up.

In a couple seconds, Kabuto's girlish screams could be heard all over the jail.

"Should we help him?"

"Nah."

* * *

Kabuto and Orochimaru woke up with a scream. Both started trembling at what had just occurred. Orochimaru for being trampled by extremely dark men and Kabuto for being abused. They both wrapped their arms around their legs, shaking themselves back and forth for the rest of the night.

* * *

A Mad Cow Story


End file.
